Day 58- Psycho Girl

 

The things we do for the sake of capturing an emotion! I am sitting here feeling quite sick through motion sickness gained from shaking my head around like a loon to capture the inner psycho πŸ™‚

I really like the effect tonight. Another long exposure taken in my bedroom with only the lights coming though the blinds from the street and a 30 second exposure. The black line going down between my heads is the cupboard door. I did think about getting rid of it, but in my opinion I like that the door is there, but is shut- locking the psycho into the corner. I also added a slight texture in Photoshop with just a touch of colour added back in.

Unsurprisingly, there are quite a few moments in life where I have been screaming inside and just wanted to hide in a corner. Like many other people in the UK, I suffer with depression. It is not something made up, and it is not something to be brushed aside as a weakness. Some days the “black cloud” ,as I have called it, just gets me and there is no way out.

I only had this diagnosed in the past 6 months but it is something I have lived with for a long time. Having this diagnosed was like someone lifting a huge weight off my shoulders. I wasn’t just a moody cow which people have said in the past, and there was a reason why I wasn’t happy and couldn’t just pull myself together and “cheer up”. The relief of someone telling me I wasn’t crazy and that I didn’t have to create my own coping mechanisms any more has meant I can be a lot more open and honest about this now.

I am a strong person, and I can cope with a lot, but I am not unbreakable. You may not be able to see it when I break, but if I am quiet or seem disengaged, don’t be afraid to ask me if I’m ok, I promise to try not to get tears and snot on you πŸ™‚

Lel x

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9 responses

    • Thank you. If I had a broken arm or leg, people wouldn’t bat an eye lid, but talk about mental health and people seem very uneasy. I just want people to know it’s ok to talk about it x

  1. My mom suffered with depression only she didn’t know it either. It was like living with a monster – seriously we were literally scared stiff of her! She went to the doctors and was diagnosed and then went on medication and it was like a new person!

    Love the shot and feel free to snot on me anytime πŸ™‚

    T x

  2. Great image, very strong – nice personal story to it too. Being Bi-Polar I totally get your dark cloud moments and the struggle it is to shake it off. Keep being you πŸ™‚

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